I’m wondering what makes today different. I am publishing my thoughts in my blog, Source Reflections. If you know me, you know it’s been awhile. I started this blog eight years ago, on Jan.1, 2013. After about a year of daily morning pages, I stopped.
I began building Mountain Valley Retreat which included painting murals on 3 large canvas tipis and constructing two yurts and a garden. I haven’t had much to write about. I’ve been busy.
Now I’m not. I have been in isolated quarantine since my last PCT Hikers left on March 21. Four weeks in and I’ve left my little compound four times for basic supplies. I have quite a lot of liquor and pot.
I am pretty stocked with inventory & supplies for the Class of 2020 Hiker Season which began on March 1. Mountain Valley Retreat is on the 101 mm of the Pacific Crest Trail which begins at the Mexican Border in Campo and ends in the Cascades at the Canadian border. Every year about 3000 adventurers attempt to thru-hike it.
This was my eighth year hosting thru-hikers at my residential glamping yoga retreat. Hikers at MVR is one of those awe inspiring win-win situations: the hikers, my friends who fly in to be “trail angels” and me. We are pretty much always smiling.
I had up to 12 hikers around my dining room table for breakfast and dinner for two weeks and during the week of the 21st we bonded through the stories that were coming through the media about the Coronavirus. On Friday morning, March 21, we gave rides to the San Diego and Palm Springs Airports and dropped nine hikers at the Barrell Springs trailhead. This new “trail family” headed north with the intention of hiking to Idyllwild (about another 100 miles) and then re-evaluating the Covid-19 story and what it meant to their 6 month plan to hike the PCT. Werner hiked one more day and then came back and flew home to the Netherlands rather than risk being quarantined in the US while his wife and children were across the ocean. The rest hiked on.
I was suddenly alone. It was a startling contrast and although I appeared to take it in stride and adapt I am realizing now that big changes are happening within myself. I guess that IS adaptation. I’m feeling that now is a good time to talk to a therapist. In fact I just messaged a girlfriend to get a referral.
I am feeling the need to connect to someone with whom I can share the stories of this past month and explore the experiences that are currently happening. I’m needing conscious touch and a friend who listens with the ears of their heart and is willing to be open and honest and true. And I want to be that friend for another.
It seems important to be very vulnerable, transparent and raw at this time and rest back in pure trust. It seems important to remain in an expanded state, focus on self-care and connect with all other forms of life. It seems important to dive head first into the river and float in the love of the Tao. I think I need support to manage this transformation. Thanks for listening.
Source Reflections 