Shifting Mail

friends-fingers

I communicated with three friends this morning. Our emails were about relationships, friendship and connection. As I hit send on the last one, I thought about the similarities in our lives although the differences are striking. We are geographically scattered from coast to coast, our ages differ by over twenty years and we represent different nationalities, sexes and sexual orientations.

Excerpts from three emails:

RE: Relationships
“I remember when I moved, first out of the house with Jim and two years later, here. Even though they were my choices and I wanted them deeply, there was a lag for my body/mind to accept what I was doing. Leaving behind the life I had known was a death of sorts and I mourned it alongside my elation at the new life I was creating. Nothing is ever one-sided. The life I left was not all bad and the life I have created is not all great. I am here, not even sure how I got here, and each day is an opportunity to discover myself anew in this life I have been given. As I age, the details of my life matter less and my ability to meet myself in each moment with integrity and compassion matters more.
Choosing connection and love over the simplicity of a life lived alone is my choice. Relationships are complicated but without them life is dry and boring.”

RE: Friendship
“I am sorry that Martha did not turn out to be the friend you thought she was. I have had that happen many times in my life. It caught me off guard and made me feel stupid for not seeing the truth sooner. Sometimes I pursued the friend in disbelief that I could have been so wrong about them…in the end, I came to see that they were not ready, willing or able to have the depth of commitment that I was in the friendship.
Your story brings up thoughts about friendship…
To me a good friend is someone who tells me his or her truth and listens to mine when I need to speak it.
A good friend is someone I trust to be there for me when I need them.
A good friend strives to understand and hears me without judging what I say.
A good friend tells me their truth, even when the truth hurts.
A good friend appreciates me for who I am and never expects me to be what I am not.
A good friend honors the ways we differ and respects my perspective when we disagree.
A good friend shares my sense of humor, my core beliefs and my dreams and visions for humanity.
A good friend loves me, no matter what.”

RE: Weather Report
“Calm seas, sun peeking out through the clouds…always a chance of thunderstorms. Resting back into my hammock of support, feet deeply rooted in the earth, grateful for this life I have been given.”

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