Into My Wild

Wild…is untamed, undomesticated, uncultivated…in its natural state and habitat.
Wild has other connotations as well. Wild places can be remote, harsh and desolate. Wild children may seem undisciplined and act with spontaneous enthusiasm. Wild weather is stormy and turbulent. Wild people may be disheveled and behave in ways that are rebellious and unmanageable. Wild animals are unpredictable and can be dangerous.
I have certain friends…when we are together in a place that is safe enough we bring out the wild in each other. Our behavior becomes unconventional. We invite out the parts of ourselves that ordinary society finds outrageous…the foolish, the crazy, the irreverent, the irrational, the madcap. We revel in taking off our cloaks of domestication and sensibility and exposing our vulnerable authentic natures. In these times I become the risk-taker I was as a child who raced bareback on horses through the woods and climbed to the top of tall trees not knowing my actions were considered reckless and dangerous. Aliveness moves through me when I let out my wild. I feel open, unrestricted, authentic and free.
I have moved through my life with various goals, aspirations and dreams. I have fulfilled many of them, others have shifted and morphed from one thing to another. I am in the midst of a dream right now, creating a magical place, a destination I call home. When the vision of my Mountain Valley Retreat came to me I didn’t know what it was about. I saw the physical structures of this place and the primary feeling my vision elicited in me was safety and comfort. That was enough for me to follow through and manifest the structures. Now that most of the structures are in place I am feeling into what else this vision is about. The word “wild” keeps surfacing. I like the word “wild.” I like the way “wild” sounds and feels in my body.
I am feeling into my resistance to becoming fully wild. Surely, there must be some resistance to this concept that has such negative connotations in our society. The concept I am considering? I may be losing my concern for what anyone thinks of me. I may have reached the condition of loving myself enough to return me to my natural, wild state of being. More will be revealed.