The Practice

renaissance womanIt feels like my life is a series of practice sessions. I practice painting. I practice playing the piano and singing. I practice meditation and yoga. I practice right relationship with nature. I practice inner, inter and extra-human communication. I practice bodywork. I practice gardening and nutritious food preparation. I practice movement and dance. I practice self-care. I practice self-love. Right now I am practicing writing…

What is all this practice about? Will I practice until I die or will I at some point master something? What is mastery? How does one recognize the moment the practice ends and mastery begins? Does it matter if I ever become a master of anything?

As I hear my questions the feeling that wells up inside is one of relief as I accept the idea of practice as a life-long way of being. I am a “Renaissance Woman.” I don’t just practice these things for a living. I do them for a life—a life that I love.

A woman I met recently when she attended a yoga class I was teaching stayed after class and we visited for a couple of hours sharing ourselves with one another. As we walked around my little retreat center looking at the tipis I had painted she said to me, “Chery, you are eclectic!”

I thought about that for a moment and said, ” Thank you. That is one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me.”

I am a Renaissance Woman. I am coming to accept and appreciate that I’ve always been a seeker. Seeking is my thing, and it’s served me quite well.

One of my favorite Steve Jobs’ quotes is this: “You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.”

Surrender

As I experience through my friends and family as well as my own, the many walks of life, I am constantly reminded that life is a thin thread, precious, complicated, impossible to make sense of. Beyond our reasoning mind, our personal journey offers opportunities for growth and the development of a compassionate heart. At the end of the day, it seems to be about surrender. Surrender requires deep trust in the unknown and a willingness to let go of control of the details of our experience. It feels to me at times like falling off a cliff and at other times like being swept down a swiftly moving river… and then there are the landings…the pause in the eddy, the floating to the ground, and my trust is validated. As I learn to stay in Spirit, laying my ego on the altar and trusting the flow of life and death, I am at peace.

Today is Today…

My friend and mentor Fritz Smith taught me to wake up and say, “Today is today and I’m glad its today.” It has been a challenge lately to feel upbeat about my day. I believe I have once again reached overwhelm and I’m not sure how to fix it…
Actually, I do know, and I am finding it difficult to let go of the list of things to do in my outer life and turn towards my inner life, where a sense of peace and joy lie waiting.
This feeling of urgency is familiar. It has taken me by the throat before and squeezed the juicy joy out of my days. So today I am taking the time to write, one of the things that brings me down and in. I am taking the time to read the inspiring words of Brene’ Brown. I share them with you here…
“I will carry courage, compassion and connection in my heart while on this journey. Even when the road is bumpy. Even when I’m so busy that I feel behind. Even though there is really no ‘getting behind.” And, especially when I start to compare and judge myself. Courage, compassion and connection will be my constant companions.” Brene’ Brown

I believe that vulnerability is a key to whole-hearted living. I must become more comfortable with who I am. I have set the intention to be transparent, wild, undomesticated and authentically me. And yet, as I peel away the layers of conditioned beliefs, as I reveal myself, I find I am meeting myself with judgment, criticism and feelings of unworthiness.

So I review these words from Brene’ about intention:
“For me, setting intentions is a power move. It is how I bring clarity, meaning and purpose to my day. Setting intentions helps you get clear on why you are doing something (clarity), why it is important to you (meaning) and how it moves you closer to your values (purpose.) “ Brene’ Brown

As I listen to myself read her words aloud, I reassess my purpose, my “north star,” and my values. I find my purpose in connection. I seek to experience the energy that exists when being seen, heard and valued is shared between people. I seek to live in a world without judgment, giving and receiving support and sustenance in my relationships.

So today I set my intention, seeking clarity of purpose and what is important to me. It is my intention to live wholeheartedly, cultivating the courage, compassion and connection to wake up each morning and say, “Today is today and I’m glad its today. No matter what gets done or is left undone, I am enough!”

When my head rests on the pillow at night, I  say, “With all my fears, imperfections and vulnerabilities, I am also brave and worthy of love and belonging.

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A Letter to my Soul Mates

etheric meditationI wrote a letter this morning and I share some of it here because it speaks to all of my new and old heart connections…
I have often felt awe at the connections I have with you and others in my life that are beyond my ordinary understanding. I can only imagine that we are interrelated throughout many lives as I recall a book I once read called Return of the Revolutionaries. Dr. Epstein explains about “Soul Groups.”
Soul Groups are individuals who make a pact on a soul level to move through lifetimes together; changing roles, changing gender, race, ethnicity and interrelationships. A friend in one lifetime may have been a wife, child, parent, or someone else in a previous lifetime. The group has a common thread running through all their lives and relationships. I think he called it the Soul Group Mission. It is a large-scale mission, shifting the global thought field. The group Dr. Epstein tracked in his book was revolutionaries in the American Revolution and continue to walk the cutting edge of revolutionary thought regardless of their occupations in this life. (Oprah Winfrey is an incarnation of one of the souls he tracked.)
When I read the book, it rang true for me. I have noticed that in the past 20 years, and especially in the past 6 years, the friends that I have deep heart-felt connections with, practice healing methods that are outside the mainstream view of medicine. They include art therapists, organic farmers, teachers, writers, actors, sound healers, energy workers, yogis, bodyworkers, psychologists, movement therapists, physicists, shamans, and non-traditional nurses and doctors.
I think that our “soul group” chose the mission of changing the worldview regarding healing.
I have no doubt that you and I are partners in this soul group and that we are affecting the global field with our beliefs and actions regarding the way healing happens.
Interestingly, it is a return to indigenous ways supported by modern science. Quantum physics has now proven what the ancient mystics intuitively knew: every thought-form put into the field affects the field.
All fields entrain themselves toward the strongest, most organized field. Our thoughts draw to our awareness from the unlimited Universal field of all-potential the experience we are having.
The most intriguing and thrilling aspect of my life is the repeated experiences I have that support this belief. When I meet someone from my Soul Group, we both experience a feeling of remembering and reconnecting on a soul level. The level of comfort and communication is deep and immediate. I am smiling as I think about what the future is holding for us, just waiting for us to think the thought!

 

Motivations

etheric meditationThis morning I am exploring the motivators that move me to action. I know that an urge to do something does not necessarily imply action. I also know that I have an impulsive nature, a “jump now and ask questions later” style of living. The upside of my spontaneity is the many experiences I have that I would miss if I spent time considering all the risks and benefits.
Thoughts need not be spoken. I ask myself, “When a thought appears do you always consider the possibility that it is best left unsaid?” Unlike my overall positive experience trusting my instincts with spontaneous action, I have discovered that when it comes to voicing my thoughts, less is more. The risk of being misunderstood may greatly outweigh any benefit derived from speaking.
The bottom line with “thought = word = action” is defined by the question, “how clear is my intuition?” Are my domesticating Ego filters over-riding my intuitive Spirit nature? Who is driving my bus?
When Spirit is in charge, I can trust my “gut impulses.” When Ego is controlling, I better stop and consider long and hard the consequences of engagement.

Let it Come to Me

moon on waterI rest back in the solitude
I feel the support of my spine
My unseen support is here holding me
Letting me know that I am not alone
No matter what my mind may say
About the complications
About the difficulties
That lie on the path ahead
I know that the truth is
This moment is all there is
In this moment I have nothing to fear
In this moment I am safe and warm and loved
In this moment all is well

There is so much magnificence
In this morning
I gaze out my window and see the clear blue of the sky
bird in fountainThe trees sway in the gentle breeze
The birds splash in the fountain and enjoy the safety of our habitat
The kittens play hide and seek in their box
I sip my tea and listen to the moving strains of heartfelt music.

 

What right does my mind have to try and disturb my reverie?
What cause can be so pressing that I should leave my stillness?
What if I stop leaving and simply stay here?
What if I rest back in my body, keeping all my energy tucked in
And wait for the world to come to me?
What if when the world comes knocking
I greet it with a knowing smile.
What if I say to the world,
“I am here for you
…But only on my terms.
You cannot take from me my serenity
For it is my birthright.
You cannot steal my peace of mind.
You cannot seize my joy.
You cannot have one precious moment
For this is the life I’ve been given!”

I am a safe, loved and loving child of the Universe
This life is mine!
Every thought I embrace is mine to think
Every word I speak is mine to say
Every action I take is mine to make
I am a Free Spirit
Who chooses to inhabit this body
And live out this life.

So today I remember
To surrender to the Universe that is holding me
There is no where for me to go
There is no thing for me to do
There is no thing for me to think about
I am safe and it is alright to relax completely.
Innocent and vulnerable, I surrender to what is.
I trust that the Universe is planning for me
The film is in the can.
So I can simply rest back and
Breath
Ground
Integrate
Surrender and
Smile.yoga 2

Just for Today

tornadoGreat Spirit, you be in charge today.
Give me a break from attempting
To understand the complexities of life and death
I fail miserably when I try
Trying, the word implies failure
And fail I do
When trying to grok your
Great Mystery
If only the answers
Were simply straightforward
If only they made sense
To my simple mind
I struggle to know
The reason for pain and suffering
Why dreadful things
Happen to blameless people
Is it somehow karmic retribution
When the Mother
Eats her own children
Swallowing them whole
There are no accidents
Somehow there is symmetry
And order to this chaos
We call life
Is it possible for one small mind
To grasp the immensity of it all
And finally find peace
Knowing that all is well.
Great Spirit, You be in charge
Just for today
Let my mind be at rest
Just for today, let me believe.

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