My words point my reader toward an embodied experience which can only be understood when it is felt. The mind will have many arguments about these tenets…they are not for the mind. Hold these concepts in your body and feel them with your heart. Only then, will you understand how they can be true. Your experiences are welcome if you would share them.
My yoga class began with meditation. As we sat, I spoke words to facilitate awareness of body sensations. Leading the class with an invitation to simply notice what they felt, I had the sensory experience of my sitting bones resting on the meditation cushion, by feet and legs against the floor. I felt my spine lifting out of my pelvis and felt the relaxation of my shoulders down my back. I dropped my awareness into my chest and noticed my breath. Feeling the rise and fall of my chest and the expansion and contraction of my belly and back, my breath deepened. I felt my throat soften and widen.
As I stayed present to my breath, I began to notice my exhalation getting longer and as I reached the end of the exhale, I saw the portal. There, at the end of my breath, was a small sphere of light. I “stepped” into it and my breathing stopped. For an endless moment, I was in absolute stillness, a void that I have no other words to describe. The feeling was weightlessness, my body suspended in the experience. I heard my inhale as breath flowed effortlessly into my lungs for what seemed like many moments. I followed the breath in and at the end was the portal, and again I “stepped” into it, and as my breathing stopped I was back in the stillness.
It came to my mind that the stillness and the void are one and the same. The stillness contains the breath and I can remain in the stillness even though my breathing resumes. The point between the end of an exhale and the beginning of the next inhale is the portal into the void. Being in stillness is the experience of noticing the container instead of the contents.
The thought that appeared next was like an instruction to “practice staying in the stillness even though you continue to breathe.” So I did.
What followed was a series of instructions: “Once you are able to stay in the stillness even though you are breathing, practice staying in the stillness when you move.” I moved from the cushion, sliding to my back and drawing my knees into my chest all the while remaining in the experience of the void.
“Practice staying in the stillness when you open your eyes and allow the sensory experience of seeing the external world.” So I did… and the room was before me and I was still in the void. For two hours time disappeared and I taught the class effortlessly remaining conscious of being in the stillness.
“Practice being in the stillness, regardless of external circumstances and conditions.” I am here, writing these words, and the stillness is here.
The stillness is always here. It holds all the sensory experiences of my body within it…all that I see, hear, smell, taste and touch is within It. All of my thoughts are within It.
Although I am functioning in a normal way, my experience feels very soft and gentle. My body is relaxed and comfortable. My thoughts are succinct. In between each thought, my mind notices nothing but the stillness. I am experiencing the container, which is holding the contents.
In this moment, my life is a walking meditation. I feel a tremendous sense of gratitude for this life I have been given.
I rest back in the solitude I feel the support of my spine My unseen support is here holding me Letting me know that I am not alone No matter what my mind may say About the complications About the difficulties That lie on the path ahead I know that the truth is This moment is all there is In this moment I have nothing to fear In this moment I am safe and warm and loved In this moment all is well
There is so much magnificence In this morning I gaze out my window and see the clear blue of the sky The trees sway in the gentle breeze The birds splash in the fountain and enjoy the safety of our habitat The kittens play hide and seek in their box I sip my tea and listen to the moving strains of heartfelt music.
What right does my mind have to try and disturb my reverie? What cause can be so pressing that I should leave my stillness? What if I stop leaving and simply stay here? What if I rest back in my body, keeping all my energy tucked in And wait for the world to come to me? What if when the world comes knocking I greet it with a knowing smile. What if I say to the world, “I am here for you …But only on my terms. You cannot take from me my serenity For it is my birthright. You cannot steal my peace of mind. You cannot seize my joy. You cannot have one precious moment For this is the life I’ve been given!”
I am a safe, loved and loving child of the Universe This life is mine! Every thought I embrace is mine to think Every word I speak is mine to say Every action I take is mine to make I am a Free Spirit Who chooses to inhabit this body And live out this life.
So today I remember To surrender to the Universe that is holding me There is no where for me to go There is no thing for me to do There is no thing for me to think about I am safe and it is alright to relax completely. Innocent and vulnerable, I surrender to what is. I trust that the Universe is planning for me The film is in the can. So I can simply rest back and Breath Ground Integrate Surrender and Smile.