Dance II

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Yesterday, when I wrote Dance,  I played with the order of the words in the third line of each stanza, removing the adjective, “the” and putting the adverb ahead of the verb.  Today I am posting it in traditional English grammar form.  I’m curious to know which you prefer and why.

Dance

Dance
Move lightly
Toes nimbly touch the ground

Dance
Leap long
Gravity pulls not the body

Dance
Heart swells
Rhythm travels through the veins

Dance
Joy climbs
Energy pulses round the nadis

Dance
Face exults
Smile lights up the eyes

Dance
Power surges
Mind motivates muscle magic

Dance
Sweat rains
Tears liberate bliss-grief

Dance
Prayers rise
Chants petition devotion

Dance
Love arouses
Gratitude invokes peace

Dance

  • Dance (sourcereflections.wordpress.com)
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2 thoughts on “Dance II

  1. Hi Chery,Interesting how moving same words around gives different meaning or rather feeling. The first version gave the impression of a modern almost Jazz dance movement with burst of energy. The second is a gentler flow of graceful soft movement. Interesting, Thank You. Hugs, Janis

    Date: Fri, 19 Apr 2013 14:03:36 +0000 To: janisstrachur@tiscali.co.uk

    Like

    • HI Janis,
      I agree that the two versions have such a different feel to them. I actually wrote the second one first and then played with the words looking for a feeling of deeper complexity, then wanted to reveal the original to see what readers felt about it. Thanks for your thoughtful comment.

      Like

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