Random Thoughts

An image of Halley's Comet taken June 6, 1910.

An image of Halley’s Comet taken June 6, 1910. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

comet_panstarrs01

comet_panstarrs01 (Photo credit: kamome)

Today is 3.13.13.  We went comet chasing last night.  There is a comet passing the earth that is supposed to be visible near the new moon.  We drove up the hill to a high spot where we could see the horizon.  The sun was setting in a riot of glorious orange and red and the sky was the palest of possible blues, a color so righteous it brings tears to my eyes. Not a cloud to be seen, nor a comet, as it turned out.  The report said that as the sun sets, the moon will be setting with it and the comet will be visible near the moon looking like an exclamation point.  Last night was supposed to be the brightest in contrast to the lack of light from the new moon.  Over the next four days it should be visible but appear dimmer as the moon gets brighter ending on Saturday, which happens to be my birthday.   The moon looked like a silver smile right where the tearful blue began.  It was exquisitely beautiful.  I feel like Mom is giving me a present.  We will go out again tonight and see what the sky offers up.  No matter what, it’s always a gift.

3.13.13. I get some sort of pleasure when the date has a rhythm to it.  Numerologists love to make significance about it.  I just love the orderliness.  I’m laughing at myself.  My OCD tendencies have been fired up lately probably due to the chaos I am living in.  As we turn our house and land into a retreat center and everything gets rearranged “things” come out of their “homes” and are hanging around everywhere.  I suppose my need to be in control (which I know intellectually is a joke but the need never leaves) is super-challenged by the unfinished projects and the compulsion to put everything where it “belongs” but the “homes” are temporarily destroyed so I can’t.  It is crazy making for me.

I have an idea for a book.  The title is Everything Has a Home.  It is an instructional primer for children on how to be organized…Feng Shui for the kids.  Now that I’ve shared my idea, you aspiring writers can take it and run with it.  I hope you do.

My friend Jane is coming in an hour to help me finish the guest room.  We are touching up the paint job, putting the blinds back on the windows and moving the furniture from the hall back into the room.  It’s only been like this for a month!  We built a little storage area under the stairs, redid some electrical and painted.  And today it will be finished, for now, until we redo the floors in a month or so.  Argh.

Someday it will all be done, or not.  Maybe I am destined to live out the rest of my life in chaos.  I better live long if I expect some order returned to my existence because when I look at my plans, what we have accomplished and how long it has taken, I see a long, disrupted road ahead.

On the flip side, there is the AFGO, Another Fucking Growth Opportunity.  Perhaps I can learn to see the order in disorder.  Perchance my nervous system will learn to be at peace in pandemonium.  Maybe in the madness of my mess I will come across a part of myself as yet undiscovered.  And conceivably, that part will be the creative brilliance that lies hidden within us all, waiting for the dust to settle and the air to clear, so it can take its first breath.

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