Back to Basics


Honesty (Photo credit: basswulf)

Harmony vs. Dissonance…Judgment vs. Discernment…Honesty vs. Callousness…
Here I am without a clear prompt. Yesterday was a strange day. A personal event brought to the surface of my mind an exploration of honesty. I’m looking for clarity here.
I have this mission to become transparent. One might think that you don’t get clearer than transparency…but through my efforts I am now sitting in the mud of confusion.
To become transparent I must shine light into the shadow of my being. I must look without turning away at all of myself, even the parts I am least in love with. I must acknowledge my feelings and speak truthfully without reservation. To master this, I know that the agreements of don Ruiz* are imperative.
Don Ruiz taught me to be impeccable with my word. I think the confusion here has to do with having integrity while using the power of my words only in the direction of truth and love. I see that love holds truth, but does truth always hold love? Perhaps I am unable to see my own truth. Perhaps my ego steps in and turns the light off and I can’t see truth.
As I continue to strive to not take anything personally, I still falter in my closest relationships and forget that what anyone thinks of me is none of my business. I understand that what others say and do is a projection of their own reality. I realize this is a world where most people are still caught in the projection trap. Can I recognize my own projections? Even when I am immune to the opinions and actions of others, they are not immune to mine. My words can cause suffering in others. Should I say them anyway?
I have found the courage to ask for what I need. I have learned how to slide into neutral and release my expectations and judgments. When I am able to do this, all my assumptions fall away and clarity is the result. If I have one guideline for living in relationship it is this, “Ask for what you need and don’t take anything personally.” Each day is an opportunity to continue to practice.
I am having an “Aha Moment!”  Yesterday instead of asking for what I needed, I stated my feelings. My feelings were based on a judgment! My judgment was taken personally (we are human’s here) until (as my friend stated) he “considered the source.”
What was the source of my judgment?  FEAR.

* Miguel Angel Ruiz, M.D.  The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom; Amber-Allen Publishing, 1997.



1 thought on “Back to Basics

  1. Once again, your blog has invited me to go deeper…thanks!
    Clarity vs Transparency. After reading this entry, I kept thinking about these two words. I guess, that I have assumed that they were synonyms and interchangeable. So, while folding laundry(as most aha moments happen!), I became aware of their differences…and they seem pretty concrete. So, to me, at this point, I understand that clarity has to do with the quality of how I understand, see or learn something (ex. “it is clear to me that…”). Transparency, seems to be more related to the actual exchange or sharing of what I understand, see or learn (ex. ” yes, i understand/see/hear clearly your point of view.”)
    Looking forward to reading your next post. =)


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