The Fresh Page

If you have been reading my 2013 Blog you know the rules by now. I awaken, sit up in bed, open my laptop to Chapter 63, Transparency and scroll down to the fresh page. I type the first words that pop into my head as the page title and then free write until I reach the bottom of the page, run spell check and post it
I started this Blog on January 1 and I am committed to writing 365 pages come hell or high water. The title, Chapter 63, Transparency represents my age and my resolution to become as transparent as possible in this year. I have decided that freedom comes with dropping all pretenses and exposing myself completely. To that end, I have chosen this exploration in free writing to see what will bubble up from the dreamy, semi-sleep state of my mind.
It is REALLY early THIS morning; the first number is only five! I am in Sedona, Arizona in a rented house with seven friends. We call ourselves the Kindred Spirits. We have been gathering for several years at different locations. We found each other through our mutual teacher, Suzanne Scurlock-Durana. Suzanne teaches a body of work she calls Healing from the Core, A Journey Home to Your Self. Four of us are here to assist Suzanne and four are here as participants in this five-day workshop called Release and Renewal, A New Year’s Retreat. We, the assistants are meeting at the site this morning at 7:30 to set up the room….all this information just to explain why I’m up so early? Perhaps this brain of mine needs to wake up a little bit more!
I like the title that popped, The Fresh Page. It’s a great metaphor for a new day. Opportunity abounds. Possibilities are limitless. Some days feel more limitless than others, to be sure. When I was sick last week the possibility of getting out of the bed was barely on the radar
Today is another story. I am about to meet a room full of people and participate in the process (theirs and mine) of letting go of limiting beliefs that are holding us back from being all that we are. Now there is a sentence with a big oxymoronic thought! How is it possible to stop ourselves from being what we are? Well, it isn’t? So what is true? Let me try that sentence again. I am about to meet a room full of people and participate in the process (theirs and mine) of surfacing to conscious mind and changing the limiting beliefs that filter our perceptions of ourselves.
So on the “fresh page” that is today, I have the opportunity to see myself in a new way. To recognize that what I believe to be true about myself is nothing but the resulting beliefs of my “domestication.” That underneath the layers of lies that my family, my community, my society, my culture, my world have told me about myself is the truth of who I am. I have always been there and always will be. I cannot BE what I am not, even if I do not recognize myself. Today holds the possibility of seeing myself as I am.

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2 thoughts on “The Fresh Page

  1. Alisha, A book comes to mind that may be helpful for you. It is Cheri Huber’s, There is Nothing Wrong With You. Tag lines, Regardless of what you were taught to believe… and Going beyond self-hate, A compassionate process for learning to accept yourself exactly as you are. Cheri has a weekly talk-radio show on Open Air on talkshoe.com and her blog page is Cheri Huber’s Practice Blog at blogger.com. I love you.

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  2. I started my page after reading your posts and it feels so good. I’m finding growth through expression that I have missed for a long time. I am trying so hard to continue the work that we did when you were home last but I keep holding on. I am hoping with continued expression I’ll allow myself to get to the point where I can let go of much that I am holding back and come closer to seeing who I am. Much <3. Thank you for inspiring me further.

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